Roleystone Residents Shocked by Mysterious Fireball, Assume Either End Times or High-Quality Pyrotechnics

It was just another quiet night in the Perth hills, until a massive fireball blazed across the sky, leaving local residents in a state of bewilderment and existential dread. The fiery spectacle, which some say outshone the moon, led to numerous reports of people double-checking their doomsday bunkers or wondering if they’d accidentally signed up for the wrong simulation.

“I was outside having my midnight smoke, and at first, I thought, ‘Mate, you’ve hit that too hard, this is it, you’re done,’” said local Roleystone resident Dave Thompson. “Then I realized other people were seeing it too. That’s when it hit me — either I’m not the only one smoking too much, or something very weird is happening up there.”

The celestial event, which was visible across the entire Perth area and even lit up the skies over sleepy Roleystone, prompted a slew of theories. Locals speculated everything from rogue asteroids to secret government weapons tests to “just some really, really good fireworks.”

"I thought for sure it was a UFO," claimed Jane Peterson, a long-time conspiracy enthusiast who regularly monitors the sky from her home in Roleystone. "I’ve been waiting for them to show up. Of course, the government will tell us it’s just a meteor, but we know better."

Meanwhile, Roleystone Facebook groups lit up with posts as neighbors asked whether anyone else's pets were also freaking out or if they were simply reliving 2020’s fireworks-induced PTSD. “My dog tried to dig a hole straight through the lounge room floor,” one resident posted. “If this is how he reacts to a meteor, I don’t want to know what he’d do in a real emergency.”

Astrophysicists, ever the buzzkills, confirmed that the fireball was indeed a meteor. However, locals in Roleystone remain suspicious. “I’m not saying it was aliens, but…” one anonymous source whispered in a hushed tone outside the Roleystone Bakery.

Adding to the intrigue, the mysterious fireball seems to have sparked interest among Perth’s newly-formed fireball enthusiasts, who are already planning a viewing party for the next inevitable astronomical event.

But for now, as Roleystone recovers from its brush with cosmic glory, one thing is certain: when fireballs light up the sky, weed-fueled panic and UFO conspiracies are never far behind.

Keep your eyes to the sky, Roleystone. You never know what's next.