Helicopter Showdown Sparks Terror Fears in Perth City—Deli Owner Weighs In

By Staff Writer

Residents of Perth City were left in a state of shock and fear today when what appeared to be a deadly helicopter battle broke out over the city’s skies. As gunfire and explosions rocked the air, many feared a potential terrorist attack, prompting emergency services to scramble.

Deli owner Sal Robucci, who witnessed the event from his shop, gave a unique and humorous take on the incident. “I’m makin’ a fuckin’ sandwich, right, and all of a sudden there’s this fuckin’ racket,” Robucci said. “So I says to my boy Vinnie, yo, Vinchenzo, go see what the fuck that noise is.”

Vinnie, ever the curious character, returned moments later with news that the noise was indeed a fierce aerial battle. “He comes back in and says, ‘Sal, there’s two helicopters fightin’ in the fuckin’ sky!’” Robucci continued. “And I say, ‘Get the fuck outta here Vinnie, you been smokin’ that shit, you’re a pistol, you’re funny, really funny. You stumbling mumblin’ little fuckin’ prick!’”

Amused by his friend’s antics, Robucci added, “Man, we were havin’ the best time. I had to throw a knife at him to get him to run outside. Best sandwiches in the city, and I’m tryin’ to work!”

Despite the chaos above, Sal took the opportunity to promote his deli: “We make the best sandwiches, hands down. You want a good time and a great sandwich? Make your way over to Sal’s. Ain’t nobody does it better.”

As the helicopter battle continued above, Perth’s local police force urged citizens to stay calm and report any information related to the incident. Authorities have yet to confirm the identity of the helicopter pilots involved and are continuing to investigate.

“The scene looked like something straight out of an action movie,” said one eyewitness, who wished to remain anonymous. “Two helicopters just going at it. It’s wild, like one of those Perth summers—but with guns.”

The Perth City PD is actively looking for any additional information from the public regarding the bizarre aerial combat. Residents with tips are encouraged to visit Police.wa.gov.au.